I am on the lam. Running for my life. I feel like pinching myself because it is surreal. Is this really happening? How can it be that my life has been so disrupted by one person?
What is worse, is that this is the second time in 15 years that I have had to do this. Sell everything I own. Change my name. Leave town. Start my life over from square one. New friends, new loves, new work, new everything. This just doesn’t happen to people. Why can’t I stop it?
I am writing this article because I want other victims out there to know how far these kinds of games can be taken, and what to do from the very start. Because at the very start I didn’t take this serious enough and it spun out of control so fast and so horrendously.
Cyber stalking and cyber bullying are on the rise. And if you get on the other side of a really sick and sadistic person, as I did 15 years ago, your life can become a nightmare of epic proportion. Cyber stalking and cyber bullying usually flip back and forth between online and offline harassment. Take care if you think somebody is victimizing you online. Online abuse can become offline abuse very quickly, and the opposite is true as well.
I have made so many mistakes throughout the course of my ordeal. If you think that you are a victim of a cyberstalker or cyberbully perpetrator, please read the following and take the necessary action.
Don’t ignore the first signs of stalking, bullying and harassment.
This was my biggest mistake. The minute I began having trouble with these people I should have slapped a restraining order on them. Even though I could not prove they were doing anything, a restraining order would have shown them that I was not going to put up with their stuff, and also if I were to get evidence, the consequences would have been more harsh for them. Nobody wants a criminal record, and so it’s a good idea to let them know you mean business.
Don’t think that they will stop. They will not stop until you stop them.
This has taken a long time for me to learn. I put up with vandalism, harassment and degradation of my character for 3 years before my first time moving, thinking the perpetrators would have moved on to attempting to have a life of their own, and I was wrong.
Then, after 5 or 6 years of thinking the ordeal was over, I allowed myself to be vulnerable to it yet again, and that is why I am in the position I am in today.
This personality type will not stop for anybody or anything. They are mentally disordered, do not forget that. They do not think like you and I or anybody operating within the realms of normal behavior.
If your trouble continues, move and do it fast.
If a restraining order doesn’t work and you cannot stop them, move immediately, quietly, and do not tell anybody when or where you are going. Get a P.O. Box at least 2 zip codes away from where you are living. Do not forward mail through the U.S. Post Office. Contact the people you receive mail from and give them the P.O. Box.
Also, these days there is virtual mail. There are a lot of services out there, so pick one that suits you, and don’t tell anybody that you are doing it. I made the mistake of thinking that the people working at the service would not give out my information. I gave the address out to one of the perpetrators and the service was compromised. So if you sign up for virtual mail, keep in mind they are not as solid as the U.S. Post Office, and can be compromised. Keep the information to yourself.
Don’t give your cell phone number to anybody.
If your stalker/bully is clever like mine, she will infiltrate your social circle somehow to find out where you are. There is a product on the market which allows these types to install software onto their computer, put your cell phone number in, and then your perp will have access to your phone conversations and text messages. More frightening, they can track your movements through the GPS feature on your phone. They do not need access to your cell phone to do this. They can’t access your email, but any access to private conversation, texting or your whereabouts is heinous and violating.
Get a land line or VOIP through the computer, change your cell phone number and use the cell for emergencies only. Sorry. It’s terrible to have to give up that cell, but if you are in serious trouble, you just have to do it.
When going through your emails, do not click on any links from anybody who you are not familiar with. There is a way for perpetrators to send an email with a link that if clicked will install a software on your computer, without your knowledge, that will give them access to your emails. Be very careful with this, it is all too easy to absent-mindedly click on a link that can cause you a lot of cost and trouble.